3 Reasons Why You’re Failing at Building a Consistent Exercise Habit
Signed: A seasoned couch potato who built a consistent exercise habit.
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I have never been passionate about fitness. I have always had a firm understanding that moving my body had positive consequences on my mood, but cycling to class and walking to work was just about all the exercise I was getting.
I have had gym memberships before that I stopped using after a couple of weeks. I have been surrounded by friends who worked out religiously and swore by the power of sweating out your worries. I have experienced the blissful feeling of release and exhaustion that comes after a spinning class. And yet, none of these things kept me around fitness for more than a few weeks.
Then the pandemic hit. In March, my daily walks suddenly became illegal. I could not use walking while bumping Blink-182 in my earphones as my daily provider of endorphins. Looking at my neighbors set up colorful signs of encouragement on their balconies did not help. In a rut of helplessness, I opened Youtube and typed something like “cardio workouts for beginners” in the search bar. I came across this video, and it changed my life.
People around me were amazed to witness a veteran couch potato suddenly turn into a fitness enthusiast. They thought that whatever this phase I was going through was, it was not going to last. And yet, I have been working out five to six times a week since that day in March and never looked back.
What made my fitness habit stick this time?
The pandemic had something to do with it, as I was hit with the painful realization that I was not going to be able to leave my house for the foreseeable future. I needed an outlet to release my negative emotions. Fitness was also a distraction from the pandemic: I could focus on my progress as the world was going bananas outside of my home gym. I started to look at fitness as something different than a chore: it became something that I could do daily from my own home and helped me feel better.
I have done a lot of self-reflection about my journey, and I realized that the way I thought about fitness was what compromised my dedication to it in the past. I came up with three things that I was getting wrong about working out. If you’re wondering why you just can’t seem to be able to stick to an exercise habit, I think you might be getting them wrong, too.
1. You rely on motivation
Have workout motivation videos, posts, and quotes ever succeeded in actually motivating you to peel your behind off the couch and work out?
Yeah, me neither. It’s tough to motivate yourself to work out when you have limitless distractions at your fingertips. If you’re like me, you’ve had times when you had enough motivation to escape the lure of other distractions and head to the gym. Unfortunately, that was just a phase. Life gets in the way, and suddenly your gym membership card is sitting in your wallet for weeks, untouched.
Motivation is going to leave you. If you wait until that feeling comes back, you’re never going to be consistent with your fitness habit. That is why you need to banish motivation from your fitness routine. There will be days where an energy overload or a particularly good mood will motivate you to do a 50-minute Zumba session. But let’s be honest, we are in a pandemic, many of us are stuck at home, and we’re all kind of miserable.
Discipline is your best friend.
Action steps: Choose a workout plan. Decide how many times a week and which days you are going to work out. Write that down or set up a reminder on your phone. When the time comes, don’t allow yourself to think about motivation. There’s no asking yourself whether or not you feel like working out. Get up, put on your sweatpants, and do it.
2. You dislike your fitness instructors and the workouts they make you do
It’s difficult to commit to something you don’t like doing. You will slack it off a couple of times, but it won’t have a chance of becoming a habit.
We are surrounded by fitness influencers. Many of them claim to offer the perfect workout plan that guarantees results in no time. Many of them are excellent at what they do, but I just don’t like them. I don’t like the fact that they don’t sweat, that they make every exercise seem so easy, and that they look good while doing it.
I also know there is no way for me to stay committed to plans with many sets of burpees and pull-ups. Why? Because I don’t like them, and because there are thousands of other exercises that work just as well.
Choose:
- fitness instructors that you can actually relate to. They sweat, they let you know when an exercise is hard, and they don’t make you feel bad when you can’t keep up. They also offer different plans you can choose from and let you know that it’s okay to do modified versions or take a break.
- a workout plan you enjoy doing that is suitable for your fitness level. There are so many disciplines you could choose from, and you could try out different things until you find out what you genuinely enjoy. Working out does not have to be painful and it does not have to feel like a chore.
I work out with Daniel and Alexandra Bartlett at The Body Project. They have been a major encouragement for me to stay committed to my fitness journey. They make working out fun with plenty of laughter, banter, and music. They constantly remind me of how powerful my choice to show up and exercise is. They encourage me to take breaks if I need to. They help me feel glad to be able to move my body and push it a little further every day.
If your fitness instructor has an approach that just doesn’t work for you, look somewhere else. I am not saying that working out should be a walk in the park, but you shouldn’t be feeling like a failure whenever you exercise.
Action steps: Get on Youtube. Explore different instructors, their approach, and the plans they offer. Choose one and ask yourself: Do I like working out with this person? Do I enjoy moving my body according to this plan or discipline? If yes, stick with them. Consider buying a subscription to their service, because knowing that you’re paying for something helps you get up and do it. If the answer is no, check out something different.
3. You focus on results and ignore the process
I started my fitness journey this year out of frustration for being locked down in my house, but also because I wanted to shed some extra pounds. As I kept going and figured out the endless perks working out allowed me to unlock, my weight shifted out of my area of focus.
If you’re constantly weighing yourself, checking if your abs have started coming out, or if that pair of jeans from when you were sixteen fits you again, you will have a miserable time on your exercise journey. This is a recipe for disaster because results are not quick to come by. Relying on them as your main motivation to keep going is guaranteed to keep your fitness journey dead in the tracks.
What kept me going was not seeing a number on the scale go down. It’s been all about the small victories:
- working out has fixed my crappy feelings 99,99% of the times
- I became a pro at crisscrossing on my jump rope
- I discovered that boxing is the key to (my) instant gratification
Working out is a lifetime journey, and it does not stop once you have reached your weight goal. It’s a continuous effort, which is bad news because you have to actually show up. But the good news is that the benefits largely outnumber the efforts. That half an hour a day you put in is going to come back to you in the shape of improved health and an amazing mechanism to cope with feelings of anxiety, anger, and depression, which are quite common in these unprecedented times.
Like many things in life, fitness is a process. Focusing on numbers and measurements will make you miss out on the efforts your body is making to keep you healthy and the joy that comes with pushing it a little further every time. Be mindful of small victories, because they are what keeps you going.
Action steps: Seriously, stop weighing yourself every day. Every time you work out, take a moment to assess your feelings before and after your session. While you exercise, notice how powerful it is to make a consistent choice to become stronger and more aware of your body. Remind yourself that each workout you do helps your muscles become stronger, builds your resilience, and makes you a better human being overall.
The takeaway
There is no universal recipe when it comes to building a habit, including working out. Motivation might be your companion on the first part of your journey, but it won’t stick around for long. The good thing is that it will carry you on long enough for you to see some benefits. But it’s important for you to realize that it will leave you.
When it does, focus on the small things:
- that beautiful feeling of release that comes after you work out
- the daily realization that your body is becoming stronger and more capable of carrying you around the world with ease
- the accomplishment of showing up for yourself every day
- the excitement of realizing you’re getting better at whatever discipline you are training in.
Approaching exercise as a chore, a punishment, or a quick fix to your insecurities does not work. You should not be looking at exercise as a way to fix your physical “flaws” and punish yourself for fulfilling your basic human need for food. It doesn’t serve you and your body, and it will make you miserable in the process.
Practice looking at fitness as a celebration of your body and your willingness to explore its abilities and limitations. Practice observing and celebrating your progress. Keep showing up. Not only will you see results, but you will also have a great time getting there.
